{"product_id":"cow-stress","title":"Cow Stress","description":"\u003cp\u003e💩👊 The world's most effective personal development tool. Finally.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eTherapists won't tell you this. Life coaches won't either. But we will: sometimes people just need a good handful of cow fertilizer thrown at them to finally grow up.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYour neighbor who still hasn't returned your lawnmower? \u003cem\u003eSplat.\u003c\/em\u003e Your coworker who replies-all to every email? \u003cem\u003eSplat.\u003c\/em\u003e That one cousin at every family reunion? You already know. \u003cem\u003eSplat.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eScientifically speaking, cow fertilizer makes things grow. We're just applying that logic to human beings. The results may vary. The satisfaction will not.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDisclaimer:\u003c\/strong\u003e Midwest Bikers Designs does not officially endorse throwing poop at people. Unofficially? We get it. 🤷\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePremium, nutrient-rich cow fertilizer\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGreat for gardens, lawns, and personal vendettas\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Midwest Bikers Designs","offers":[{"title":"Gray \/ XL","offer_id":48531202277559,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ L","offer_id":48531288129719,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Gray \/ M","offer_id":48531288162487,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Gray \/ S","offer_id":48531288195255,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Red \/ XL","offer_id":48531202310327,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Red \/ L","offer_id":48531288228023,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Red \/ M","offer_id":48531288260791,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Red \/ S","offer_id":48531288293559,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Purple \/ XL","offer_id":48531202343095,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Purple \/ L","offer_id":48531288326327,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Purple \/ M","offer_id":48531288359095,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Purple \/ S","offer_id":48531288391863,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Pink \/ XL","offer_id":48531202375863,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pink \/ L","offer_id":48531288424631,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Pink \/ M","offer_id":48531288457399,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Pink \/ S","offer_id":48531288490167,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Blue \/ XL","offer_id":48531202408631,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ L","offer_id":48531288522935,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Blue \/ M","offer_id":48531288555703,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Blue \/ S","offer_id":48531288588471,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":48531202441399,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":48531288621239,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":48531288654007,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":48531288686775,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0739\/0334\/1751\/files\/Screenshot_20260515_214626_TikTok_1023f92d-fd12-4285-95ea-2b303356bfcb.jpg?v=1780858831","url":"https:\/\/midwest-bikers.myshopify.com\/products\/cow-stress","provider":"Midwest Bikers Designs","version":"1.0","type":"link"}